Saturday July 1st 2000

Dear Journal,

AGHH!! I just go home - it's just after midnight - and this has been the coolest day ever - absolutely amazing!! Just before the play started we were standing by the stage door (not away it was) and a black town car pulled up - I could feel it - I knew it was him - and out walks Gabriel 0 within 5 feet of us - neither of us knew what to do- we were starstruck and in complete awe of him. Then our seats for the play were amazing and he did such a spectacular job. We were so thrilled we didn't know what to do with ourselves! I still can't believe we saw him. I just cannot believe it! So many people have actors that they really love and admire, but so many of them are out of reach and you never get to see them, it's so awesome to have seen someone I'm so completely in awe of - up close - it's the greatest feeling ever! The play closes tomorrow, I am so glad we got to see it. I'm amazed. Coolest day ever!!!

Laura Leigh

oh my goodness. Most girls our age were screaming and crying over boy bands, and there we were, seeing A Moon For the Misbegotten, starring the then 50-year-old actor ... what freaking weirdos we were. We were by far the youngest people there. The women asking for his autograph were all senior citizens, and we were too afraid to approach him. What a memory.

Saturday July 1st 2000

Dear Journal,

Today is the awaited day, Jess and I go to the city to see *Gabriel Byrne* start in Moon For the Misbegotten! We are SO excited to see our favorite actor in this show!! This week has been retty cool, on Wednesday, I went to the mall with Leah, Jess and Katy and then Jess and I went to Kristie's surprise going away party. On Thursday Leah and I baby-sat for my cousins- a favorite summer past time. Then last night I went with Leah and Meghan to dinner and to see A Perfect Storm, a very moving movie.

Laura Leigh

Gabe the Babe!!

June 26th 2004

Dear Journal,

Last Tuesday afternoon I took a train to Penn Station where I met up with Molly and we took a subway out to the Bronx where I watched her play Irish football. Afterwards we went out drinking with all her Irish teammates. It was excellent. I love the Irish! The next morning I slept in then hopped a subway downtown and met Jess on Park by Jake's apartment. She and I went out to breakfast then headed to Central Park West to meet the girls; Leah, Kristen and Leanne. The five of us wandered through the park all day and spend a good two hours sitting at the top of what Leah refers to as the "bird castle," which overlooks a great pond. It was just relaxing and peaceful. I really enjoyed it. Tonight, after working the day at the beach with Leah, I realized, when Oliver's girlfriend came to pick him up, that I am jealous. But I don't, however, want him, so I don't know why I feel this way.

LLS

I felt that way because I am a woman and even if we don't want you, we still want you to want us. It's a control thing. Ahh, life's little lessons.

June 25th, 2004

Dear Journal,

I got to take a good look at Oliver's girlfriend tonight for the first time, and it bothered the hell out of me! She's gorgeous.

She's beautiful with a great body, so what the hell did he have sex with me for?

Amanda asked me if I was jealous. I don't think it's that but who knows, maybe I was, regardless, I'm not fretting about things that have already been and that I can't change. Why did Oliver have sex with me? Did he even want to or was he just doing what I suggested? Was it pity sex? Who sleeps with a chubby virgin when he's got a hot girlfriend?

I'll never know. Dammit.

LLS

ha ha ha ha. He did have a hot girlfriend. I was ten years his junior and let's just say I was not at my finest during our most magical encounter.

Saturday January 1st 2000

Dear Journal,

And so starts another year!

Last night, as I was at Leanne's to celebrate the new year, I began to realize that I'm not like others. Of course, it is a feeling that has been lingering for a while, but last night hit me at full force. For no reason really, just during conversations, I knew, I know I am different from most people, and some way or another, I intend to show that to the world. I suppose I will grow up to be one of those people with a therapist to help keep me sane, after all, I am well aware that I'm a bit out there. That's what's a little odd, I am just starting to show my true colors to some people. But the little things people don't know about me, often make me feel heavy, strange. Tonight I was watching as Leah fixed her hair in the mirror, and it occurred to me how we are really now starting to define ourselves. A few years ago we wore anything, didn't have much preference or strong opinion - but now we are so solid in who we are, and who we are, and who we are trying to be. I spend immense amounts of time pondering the future - I do not remember the last time I relaxed - I live in apprehension.

Laura Leigh

Ugh. Honestly, I wish I could have just been given a glimpse into this glamorous future of mine so that I might have calmed myself down back in those days. I thought I was different than everyone else because I had a deeper understanding of the human soul ... yea, it's all a load of bullshit.

Monday, December 27th 1999

Dear Journal,

Yesterday we went to my Aunt Mary's to see my mom's side of the family, it was fun. Today Katy, Leah and I went to the mall to do our Christmas returns!

After, Leah came over. We watched Notting Hill, which I loved, because I am a terrible sucker for any romance movies - it was so sweet thought - every time I see a movie like that I wonder terribly about my own future.

As said in RENT, "I can't control my destiny ... I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be."

Laura Leigh

Oh Wow. What a fag.

Monday May 3rd, 2005

Dear Journal,

Home. Home already. How unbelievable. It's such an odd feeling. Yesterday I had to pack up my freshman year, now, I have to fit it all into my home- find spaces for all the stuff. I have never felt anything like this before. It's like when I'm at school I'm having fun and figuring out who I am but then I come home and I'm all confused again. It's not that I'm different in each place, it's simply that each place brings out different qualities in me. Life here is much more predictable, and there's a part of me that loves that, that finds comfort in it, but there's no moving forward here, things just are how they are.

I've been gone one day - not even - and I miss it. Four months away seems long, though I know it's not, as time continues to fly by. Always flies.

Laura Leigh

And that is why I had to leave Long Island, that's probably the best explanation I could ever give.

Time is still flying.