Monday, March 31st 2003

Dear Journal,

Whoever said that March was "In like a lion an out like a lamb" is a complete idiot! It's snowing! Snowing! What the hell is that about?!! It's gonna be cold tomorrow, my 18th birthday. I know, 18, It's hard to believe. I still feel like a little kid! 18 is a grown-up and I am certainly not ready to be one!

On Saturday my parents went up to Poughkeepsie to have dinner with Ryan and Sylvia and they tried to make me believe that they were coming home the same night, but I've always been one step ahead of them. I knew full well that they were not planning on coming home, so I had people over. It wasn't a party, just a chill night. My parents didn't suspect a thing.

Tonight the girls came over and my mom made me my birthday dinner, The World's Greatest Tortellini and Death by Chocolate. We hung out for a while and then I went out with Annie and her cousin TJ and got completely stoned- hence my messy writing.

I need to pass out, what am I even wearing tomorrow?

Laura Leigh

Reenie and Drew do not screw around. No one is to set foot in their house when they are not there. And I didn't just get a little stoned, I got completely stoned.

April 2nd, 2005

Hippies on the grass.

Very hungover. Threw up in the museum. Ate chicken and french fries.

I love Munich. I love being surprised by a fabulous place. The sky is overwhelmingly blue.

The Sun Also Rises.

-LL-

I believe that was a note to read the book, which I later did.

April 1st, 2005

I'm 20!! I've been drunk since yesterday.

City of Contrast.

Hitler used Munich for nationalist socialist party. Beautiful city. Beautiful day. Drunk! Started Jaeger at 9am. As it should be. Back to the tour ...

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My 20th Birthday in Munich. From what I remember it is literally the coolest day of my life thus far ... but the next day, wow, that was a tough one.

I cannot seem to track down any of the photos during the rage (It's probably for the best) so I've added a nice tame one from the when the drinking began ... the evening of March 31st.

Tuesday, November 30th, 1999

Tonight I was on AOL, and Amanda was all excited because this older guy had send her a naked pic of him - because she had lied about her age. Once she signed off I told him the truth. I ended up talking to him for a while about stuff, and he said I really got him thinking, that he'd liked talking to me. He made me realize that I am intelligent and insightful. A while ago I gave Jenn advice and she said to me, "Oh my God Laura, when you find a guy who is worthy of you he'll be so lucky!" I thought she was just saying it, but I realized she really meant it. I am very deserving of something wonderful, and I know that someday I'll find it. I shouldn't be ashamed to be so philosophical - I like me - and so do others. Life's not perfect, but who's is?

Laura Leigh

Uhhh. I'm not sure how to respond to my intelligence and insight. I suppose this gem of an entry speaks for itself.

Sunday, November 21st, 1999

I got it dyed!!

The only way to describe the color is a reddish-purplish-auburn, at first I wasn't amazed, and they cut my hair, which really depressed me, because I had been growing it out, but when I brush it out, I must admit, it looks great!

I baby-sat my cousins yesterday. Today we went to the mall and I got my leather - I love it! I'm so happy!

Laura Leigh

Don't worry, it was just a leather jacket I'd been dying for. What a rockstar.

Friday, November 19th, 1999

Dear Journal,

Tomorrow I'm dying my hair. I haven't been able to decide which color - but then - I have this wig from Halloween, it was long and black. I was so bored so I put in on, I was messing with it and started to cut it. I ended up cutting it up to my chin. I looked so good! I wish I had really thick hair, 'cause then I'd cut it that short. Maybe I will eventually. So I think I want to dye it black, it will look so different!

Wish me luck!

Laura Leigh

Some teenage girls are tiny and cute and gorgeous. Other teenage girls, like I was, are awkward and mousy and horrible. We think we can solve the problem by doing wretched things like wearing blue glitter eye shadow or dying our hair black. I blame my mother for not saying, "Laura Leigh, I love you, but do your best to just blend in for the next few years."

Wednesday, November 17th 1999

Dear Journal,

I stayed out of school yesterday - I had this killer migraine. Today I felt much better. I've been thinking a lot lately, about RENT, about how one person had that inside of them. I want to find that something inside of me. There is also this author I love, Donna Jo Napoli, she is absolutely amazing, her words and her writing, it's just so beautiful. Everything flows in this beautiful way. I've been looking for info on her, I would love to write her. It really is time for me to get started, if I'm ever going to make an impact.

Laura Leigh

I had just seen Rent for the first time, and like most young teenagers, it blew my silly little mind.

Monday, June 21st, 1999

Dear Journal,

Today I took two exams, French and History - not bad. Leah came over afterward, we pretty much hung out all day. My mom was watching Alexa Leigh today, so we took her for a walk at the Millpond. Tonight we played this fainting game with Katy. You stare at the ground and hyperventilate, then you count down from ten- at one you stand up quickly and hold your breath while they press on your chest. I did it - and I don't really remember it - I passed out. All I know is I was dreaming, and it felt like I was waking up for school, but they were standing right there! Frightening.

Laura Leigh

The beginning of completely moronic teenage experiments.

Sunday, June 14th, 1998

Dear Journal,

Today Leah is staying over, she is also staying over tomorrow night, as her mother is out of town. I was supposed to go sailing today with my friend Sarah, but the weather didn't permit. For lunch today my mom fried up my fish that I caught yesterday, it was so good! Leah came over around 2:15.

Today I did this neato thing with my hair, it came out kind of screwed up, but it was cool! While it was wet I wrapped it in strips of socks and let it dry, when I took it out I scrunched it and clipped some to the side. It looked neat.

Leah and I just hung out today. We also went swimming in my freezing cold pool. Tomorrow is my last full day of school!!

After Friday school will be out, I mean, I'm glad it's summer, but I won't have lots to do. A lot has changed this year, including friends. The only person that I have grown closer with from last year is Leah. The other day in school we wrote letters to ourselves, our English teacher will mail them back to us next year. I gave myself the best advice I could, and I wrote who I am not friends with anymore. Maybe by the time I get the letter things will be very different - who knows.

Laura

Things were NOT different when that letter arrived in my mailbox the next year. I had officially entered my neato-loser phase. It was a long, dark road I traveled, but at least I had some great hair ideas.

March 17th, 2005

ST. PATRICK'S DAY 2005

So we made it to Dublin, checked into our hotel and decided to hit the hotel bar for some good-night-Guinness.

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Drunk on Guinness in a pub in Dublin. Still St. Paddy's. The most fun I have ever had.

-LL-

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The Scientist comes on. I miss my girls from home.

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"We're in Ireland, this is crazy!" - Kelly

"We're not in Ireland, we're in heaven" - Sam Roden

THE BEST MUSIC EVER.

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Most amazing St. Paddy's Day of my life - and I am not going to pretend it was anything but.

I love Ireland. I miss home. I'm sick, SO sick of Europeans, foreigners, essentially, asking me my political agenda. Still, BEST ST. PADDY'S OF MY LIFE ... Which is why I'm here alone at the bar.

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"In the Cathedrals of New York and Rome there is a feeling that you should just go home and spend a lifetime finding out just where that is." - Jump, Little Children

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We have had the most ridiculous time. We came to our hotel bar last night ... for a good-night-Guinness. Our bartender was amazing.

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ANOTHER PUB. ANOTHER PINT.

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So our bartender last night was awesome. I knew I loved Ireland when we came to the bar, Sammy and I asked what of shots he was making. He made two extra and slid them in our direction. That's when I knew. I knew I would love it here. And I do.

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Some guy at the bar asked me if I kept a daily journal. He's an English teacher. I told him that I liked English. He said, "It's fairly obvious."

Love it here.

They had a nice long talk about my ipod. Bartender/English teacher. Just by existing, it is so very easy to effect other people.

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Best St. Paddy's Day Ever.

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We went to the Dublin Parade. We bought trinkets. We had Shamrocks painted on our cheeks. It smells of shellfish in this bar. I am all alone and I don't feel the least bit lonely.

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Oh I like this bartender SO MUCH. Same one from last night. He makes me love the Irish. And somehow, he makes me miss New York.

At times I really do wonder - what - what - I forgot what I wondered.

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Shelley and Byron Museum. Old man at the bar next to me. Go there.

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WHAT AM I GOING HOME TO?

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We went on a pub crawl today. First the parade then a few pints at a Pub. Then another pub. Then a bus. Then another pub. With live music.

2nd Guinness - All free.

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Bartender thinks Volvos are the way to the future. U2 playing. Older gentleman, English teacher. I think he's brilliant.

Galway. Between Dublin and NY.

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10 Guinness' today.

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Bed time. Enjoyed my evening with the barmen.

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For Granny:

Hello - Dia Dhuit

Good-Bye - Sian

Good - Maith (pronounced my)

To drink - Agol

Drunk - ar meisce (er meshke)

Tempo Bar. Liffey.

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So that was my Irish St. Patty's Day. My journal entries for the day are just a lot of drunken scribble, including entries from both Kate and Kel, neither of which I could really make out. They were both pretty much about the beauty of Ireland and how much we all loved each other. We didn't even see the beautiful parts of Ireland until after that day of crazy drinking, but man did we have a blast.

March 16th, 2005

On a plane to Dublin right now.
I can't even make sense of it.
We are fuck-ups, so of course we had to stop in Roosendaal, get ridiculously stoned, then take a later train to Brussels. Upon arriving in Brussels we discovered that our airport was actually an hour away. That was at 8 o'clock. The train that could take us to our airport came at 8:30. Our flight took off at 9:35. We were bummed. We had REALLY fucked up this time.
We got out at Brussels and ran to a cabbie.
"How fast can you get us to Charledor airport?!" We got in.
190 km an hour on the speedometer. Rap blasting from his system. 200 Euro cab ride.

We made the fucking flight!

I'm a few beers in. There's some turbulence.

I'M GOING TO DUBLIN FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

-LL

We always did everything last-minute at the Castle, and the joke was that we always made it everywhere we wanted to go, always had the most fun, and everything just always worked out for us. When we'd all been accepted to the Castle program the one thing we talked about, and this was our freshman year TWO years prior, was how we would go to Ireland for St. Patty's Day. When we got to Brussels and realized that we had really, really screwed up the one thing we had really wanted, I just felt so crushed. Everyone in the train station told us that we would never make it.

The cab ride to the airport in that black Mercedes was just insane adrenaline pumping through our veins as he played Dr. Dre's The Next Episode on repeat. When we made it to the airport, got on the plane and cracked open celebration beers, we were all absolutely elated. Not only that, but once again we had NOT learned our lesson. We had our pot and smoked it too.