It's pretty pathetic to read my entry from Sunday, and then realize how I am feeling right now. I am rotting. Today was the worst day I have had in a long time! It's just torment. My mom thinks I I should go to a private school next year. Part of me is SCREAMING to, and the other part of me- I don't know, I just don't know. I would feel terrible leaving my friends, but then I think of myself, I don't want to feel like this, I don't deserve to feel like this. What terrible thing did I do to deserve to suffer so immensely? Every time I think about it I cry. Now ... It hurts so much and I don't know why. Even if I left I'd have to face them in Melville. Hmm, I am fourteen I shouldn't have to decide this, I shouldn't be so afraid to be there. But every day is suffering. Every day hurts. My poor friends, poor Leah, how can she put up with me, with the way I fluctuate? God, I hope she isn't hurting like this. I don't know. I don't know how to fix myself. Oh God, please just help me, please please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE.
Laura Leigh
I guess I was having a bad day. I'm pretty sure that I blocked out most of 8th grade.
Some of these make me so sad.
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