March 13th, 2005

“Wait guys, I can’t find my lip gloss … Sam, can I borrow yours?” – Porten’s joke.

PRAGUE.

Absolutely fabulous. We had a great weekend, even though I freaked out last night, partly because I was drunk, but also because I was genuinely upset. It’s okay though, sometimes I forget that there real assholes out there and that I have to encounter them occasionally. C’est la vie.

So first here’s the Prague story, simplified:

Me, Sam, Kelly, Katryn, Lauren, Sammy. We walked to the Venlo bus. A bird shit on my head. We bought wine and took a train. By the second train Sam and Kelly were wasted. I was a little drunk off my Riesling . We took another train. Couchette. Six beds. Entire room the size of a small bathroom. Conductor woke us up periodically to demand more money. Awesome. 8am arrive in Prague. First and only good exchange rate in Europe. Checked into hostel. Great room at the top of five giant staircases. Amazing view of Prague castle. Went out for bagels. Got lost finding Jewish quarter. Found Jewish quarter. Synagogue closed. Lauren bought Jewish star necklace. Ate giant, delcious hot dogs for 30 crowns. Then hot spiced wine. Rode tram for free. Napped at hostel. Others came back with beer. Decided to take it easy all night. Ate KFC. Drank beer. Went to bed. Shared bed with Sam. Good sleep. Woke at 9. Went to bagels again. Had sausage biscuits and gravy. Internet café was not restaurant. Walked up pretty, snowy hills. Amazing view of the city. Lauren saw men with machine guns, announced we were leaving. We laughed at her and kept going. Found the castle. Went in the Cathedral. Walked the bridge. Saw the clock in the old square strike three. More hot dogs. More wine. Meandered back to hostel. Nap time. Showers. Dress to go out. Take metro to other side of town. Honor system. Found small bar. Drank beer. All did absinthe. Took pictures. Burned sugar. Toast to Prague. Down it went. Slight burn. Intense buzz. Back on metro. Chose random stop near Jewish quarter. Everyone giddy. Like children, but with absinthe. Found mysterious cave-like bar. More beer. Bachelor party men in Santa hats. More absinthe. Six shots. Tray please. Starting to feel like a pro. Met two british guys from Oxford. Chill guys, fun conversation- not that I actually remember it all. One bought me absinthe. Showed him how to drink it. Gave him some beer to wash it down. Share a snakebite. Don’t know whats in it. Two straws. I like it. Group leaves. Kel and I stay. Soon I'm ready. Two kisses on the cheek. Pizza. Locked out. Encounter with asshole police. I scream. We get in. bed. 7:30am. Wake up. Bagels again. To go. Right place this time. Get on tram. Free again. Barely make our train.

Fucking good weekend. Only $100. Snowy hills out the window. I smile to mysef a lot lately.

And that was Prague!!

March 12th, 2005

I have so many really great things to write about Prague, may great things, but for now, all I can do is freak out. I have NEVER been laughed at by policemen or authorities the way I was tonight. Never. I don’t care what anyone says about the US, I have never been laughed at by policemen the way I was tonight.

The longer story will come later, but basically, we all went out drinking and Kelly and I decided to meet everyone back at the hostel at 1am. So we got back to where the hostel was at 1am but none of our friends were there to let us in. We decided to give them a few minutes. Some Czech policemen were going up stairs but they wouldn’t let us follow them. So we waited about 20 more minutes. We tried not to get upset that our friends were not there. The policemen came down. I tried to speak to them. They ignored me. I tried again. They ignored me again. We basically begged them. They basically laughed at us. We did not have a key. They would not help us. I was desperate, so as they walked out I yelled. One of them turned around and yelled at me to be quiet. He held up his key as a warning. I screamed at him in English that I hope he sleeps well knowing I am out on the street. He walked away.

I will never ever forget being treated like that by a police officer, someone who is supposed to help you. After they left I had tears brimming in my eyes. I had never been treated like that. I dind’t know what to do. So I screamed. I ran into the street and screamed again and some old man came out of a door. He saw me screaming and crying and so he told me to be quiet, and that he would help us in. So I tried to be quiet, but I wept onto Kelly. I have never been so let down. He let us in. Once at the top I banged on the door until Lauren let us in. They were tired. They couldn’t understand what happened. They won’t understand. I’ll never forget this. I won’t ever forget it.

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That night still stands out in my mind. Honestly I know that a lot of it was the alcohol, but y words really fail to describe the situation, and how desperate we felt. I'm pretty much terrified of law enforcement in any country but my own.

March 12th, 2005

Prague Castle. Cathedral. Big dark, cold. I don’t feel a religious presence in most of these places. Inner part of Cathedral – you need tickets to enter. We’ll just look from afar. Golden extravagance. PRAVDA VITEZI.

Semon name is Czech. Part of my ancestry is here. Cathedral Saint-Guy.

“It’s such a joke. I didn’t bring my towel or anything else that I needed, but I brought my lipgloss … I mean my chapstick.” – Sam. One day after telling us to stop making fun of him, cause he’s bloated.

Thursday March 10th 2005

Now it’s Thursday, March 10^th. I’m on a train to Prague listening to music and drinking 4 Euro Riesling. Sammy is next to me. Katryn and Sam are across from me. Lauren and Kel are behind me. I’m starting to get a little tired from the wine, but a really happy, content tired. I don’t want this to end. It’s not real life, and I love it. I’m smiling to myself right now, smiling big.

A bird shit on my head as we were walking to the bus. I wasn’t psyched about it, but it was pretty funny. It’s supposed to be good luck. Crock of shit- but if that’s what I had to get for this to be a good weekend, I’m ok with that. I love Prague, and we’re not even there yet!!

Even when I fall … I’m not one to stay down long.

The wine is kicking in. Here it is.

First we went to Belgium, to Brugge and Brussels and it was exhilarating and we felt so free. We were just so happy. And then we went to Amsterdam and wandered around in a hazy oblivion we laughed and got stoned and time was not time it was slow and fast and furiously funny. Then there was Paris. All museums. Masterpiece overload. Moved. Inspired. Exhausted. Then Barcelona breathed new life into us. The beautiful sun the midday beer the Mediterranean Sea, Cathedral Park, sour grass, paella. I was happy there. Genuinely happy. Next Madrid, which just felt like a big city. Saw Sam. Intense. Saw Guernica with Sam. Doubly intense. Didn’t do much sight-seeing. It hurt almost as much as I loved being with her. Then two weeks of mess. Pain. Fighting. Exhaustion. Then I clicked. Then we went to London. Tired on the tube looking at Ikea ads ad detecting American accents. Too expensive. Completely worth it. Now I’m on a train to Prague. I want this life, and I am this life.

Sunday October 5th 2003

Dear Journal,

What a week ... I never write any more! I've been kind of homesick this week to be honest, and I was in a really sad mood on Friday. I feel like everyone has something good going for them but me, which I know isn't really the case, but sometimes I just feel like I'm fucked for life. I spent my entire week working on a paper for my Urban Studies class and of course my Professor wouldn't even read the damn thing. She's just so fucking critical of all my work, I can't seem to do anything right for her. It makes me feel pretty horible. Anyway, Friday night turned out good. Kate and I got ourselves some 40s of Corona and we "kept it Mexican," all night. Corona, Tequila, Spanish brothers! We got decked out, we really looked so good, and we pregamed in my room then went to a club called The Roxy. It's more of an upscale club, and it has a high cover charge. So we walked in, and got 21 bracelets, even without ID they gave Kate a bracelet, and we strutted inside and told them we were on the A-list, so they let us in without paying a cover charge. So we danced and got hit on by all sorts of guys, then just as we decided to leave we met these two brothers ... we danced with them a while. The one I was with was very attractive and smelled super good! Then we went upstairs with them and Kate said to me, "15 minutes Laura, I'll find you in 15 minutes. We have to do this!" So we separated for a while and each had our own make out sessions in separate booths. It was pretty hot and I certainly enjoyed myself. After we found each other we gave them fake phone numbers and headed back to the dorms. Yesterday we hung around and went to a movie, and today I went out with my sister.

I am soooooo excited to go home next weekend! I miss EVERYTHING about Setauket. Oh God, I can't wait to go home!

Off to bed,

LL

oh man. I'm embarrassed to even read this entry, let alone post it. On the list of things I would never ever wanna do again ... go clubbing at the Roxy. Freshman girls, we were all the same.

That professor, by the way, was a bitch to me. She forced me to work my ass off. I was her only A that semester.

April 10th, 2003

Dear Journal,

My parents have been away all week, so my friends have practically moved in with me. Last night Annie, Leah and Jackee came over, and then Annie's cousin TJ and his two friends came over, and eventually Pomeroy came by with two of his friends. Its been a really chill week, but I really couldn't say what I've been up to. I haven't been getting nearly enough sleep!

My parents are coming home tomorrow. I'm supposed to leave next Saturday for the Bahamas with Jess (O'Neil) and Annie, but Jess is not paid in full so we're kinda screwed. I guess we'll see what happens. I'm off to the gym.

Laura Leigh

Thinking about that bitch and all the money she owes me STILL makes me angry after all these years. I guess I'd better get over it.

April 4th, 2003

Dear Journal,

In life you can't take anything back. You really can't. You can try and alleviate the pain, and you can even and fix what was upset or destroyed, but I truly believe that no one forgets, because there is no going back.

It sucks living in the US right now. All we talk about is the war and I still don't believe what I see, and part of me thinks it's just too desensitized; I'm on the elliptical at the gym and on the tv come pictures of American casualties, and they're young, and they're handsome, and you just wonder- why is it like this? Why did things have to happen this way? What are we doing? What exactly are we doing?

Laura Leigh

So what exactly are we doing?

Wednesday, April 2nd 2003

Dear Journal,

I still can't believe how much fun I had with my mom last night! Drinking with her at Carmine's was just too funny! She really is cool, I can tell her stuff, like real stuff. It's nice to have such a good relationship with her. It's gonna be hard up at school next year, having to really be an adult, having no mommy around when I don't feel good - it's scary!

Today at the shelter we met some new kids and they were absolutely the sweetest kids! Some of the children there impress me so much but I can't help worrying about them.

We also finished watching American History X today in my Great Moral Issues class. It was an absolutely amazing movie. Once it ended it was one of those movies where you had to just kind of sit there and absorb everything you had just seen.

"Hate is baggage." It really was an amazing movie, about a white supremacist who realize that hate is really just a vicious cycle that can never end, especially not peacefully. Another topic the movie touched upon slightly was affirmative action, something we have also been discussing in class. What scares me is how ignorant some people are. I'm a white girl living in suburban Long Island with so much opportunity at my fingertips. White kids act like affirmative action is oppressing us and that is such whiney bullshit. I see the children at the shelter and the fact is, most of them are black of hispanic and their parents are ignorant. They have so much potential yet very little chance in this world. Affirmative action is for children like them who need that extra hand. They need help. We see them once a week and it's just not enough at all. Someone needs to reach them but chances are, nobody will. So because of this oppression they will be under-qualified. That's why we have affirmative action. It shouldn't be about race it should be about poverty, education and living conditions, but it is far too often that poor living conditions and race go hand-in-hand. I don't know a single white kid whose life has gone down the drain because affirmative action somehow fucked them over. Everyone needs to stop whining and understand that something needs to be done and unless they have a better idea they should shut their mouths.

Laura Leigh

I was much more idealistic as a teenager. Some might say a little more naive. I even liked children back then. Oh well.

Wednesday, March 19 2003

Dear Journal,

Something about volunteering at the shelter makes me terribly sad- all these kids we go through, all these kids full of potential- I wonder how many of them are really gonna make it in life. Like now there's Kai, a sweet little boy who is quiet and polite and lets me read to him ... will he always like to read? And Justice, this crazy four-year-old with a mini-afrow and an explosive personality. I have few doubts that he will turn into a thug, but I still have hope because he loves to watch "The Big Comfy Couch" and he carries around the doll! So many kids and I know we don't see them enough to impact them. I want the best for these kids because they deserve the best. God, kids are great! They're like a lump of clay that you can carefully mold. I'm glad we go to the shelter.

I went to dinner tonight with Catherine and Leah, then I went to the gym with Jackee, then we smoked.

I hope this was profound, for I am awfully stoned.

Laura Leigh

Ha!

Sunday June 29th 2003

Dear Journal,

AGH! Today is my Graduation day! Holy Shit! I can't believe it. I remember sitting at my brother's graduation three years ago and thinking about how my graduation would come in the blink of an eye! It did. This is it, the official end of high school and the official start of my summer. Amazing, it was all amazing. I'm gonna miss it is all I can say, I certainly will miss it.

Laura Leigh

Why is it that something that kinda sucked a lot (junior high and high school) gets really good right at the end?

Tuesday June 27th 2000

Dear Journal,

On Sunday my brother Ryan graduated - it was pretty emotional, even for me. As they walked around us, in cap & gown, I got a lump in my throat. They were ending something. I was wondering how I am going to feel, three years later, taking that same walk. You think about graduation your whole life, but on the day of I can only imagine it is then that you realize your childhood went too fast, and you have reached a huge turning point. Fear, excitement, joy, those feelings probably cross your mind. And it's funny to think of the scale of time, some days seem to last forever, but in just a moment I too will be heading off to college. I think that if I could have any "super power" I would choose to be able to slow down time, make it last just that much longer because it's all too fast, it really is. But as Everlast put it so very simply, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end," and for the graduates of 2000, this is so very true!

Back to the smaller scheme of things, my life these days has been fairly simple, carefree and I like it that way. On Monday I went to Port Jeff with Leah, Chris and Katy, then we came back here and stayed in the pool the rest of the afternoon. Today Leah and I got Kristie a gift- a frame with the fam tree and a pic of the fam, because she's moving. I'm tired now and off to bed.

Laura Leigh

Uhh yea, I seriously did quote "closing time" in my journal ... but honestly I don't even think that's who sang it ... ? The point is. I was lame.