And so starts another year!
Last night, as I was at Leanne's to celebrate the new year, I began to realize that I'm not like others. Of course, it is a feeling that has been lingering for a while, but last night hit me at full force. For no reason really, just during conversations, I knew, I know I am different from most people, and some way or another, I intend to show that to the world. I suppose I will grow up to be one of those people with a therapist to help keep me sane, after all, I am well aware that I'm a bit out there. That's what's a little odd, I am just starting to show my true colors to some people. But the little things people don't know about me, often make me feel heavy, strange. Tonight I was watching as Leah fixed her hair in the mirror, and it occurred to me how we are really now starting to define ourselves. A few years ago we wore anything, didn't have much preference or strong opinion - but now we are so solid in who we are, and who we are, and who we are trying to be. I spend immense amounts of time pondering the future - I do not remember the last time I relaxed - I live in apprehension.
Laura Leigh
Ugh. Honestly, I wish I could have just been given a glimpse into this glamorous future of mine so that I might have calmed myself down back in those days. I thought I was different than everyone else because I had a deeper understanding of the human soul ... yea, it's all a load of bullshit.
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