June 2nd 2006

I am fearful that this summer will pass by with nothing to show for it- Uneventful. Just time passing by. Why am I so unmotivated?
5pm
I just got off work. I have about 45 minute to kill. I hate killing time but everything worked against me; I wanted to get a book from the library but it closed just as I arrived, and I would have gone for a walk but it's raining. I'm not hungry. Thank God for Dunkin' Donuts, my ipod and my journal.
I was just reminded of one day in junior high, the weather was like today, but colder. Leah and I went on her dad's fishing boat. I caught a flounder, which my mom cooked for me the next day. I don't know why I just wrote about it. It's a nice memory.
I am missing a lot of people right now, places too, and I suppose I am bitter. I am stagnant, and no one else is.
I have an interview at 6pm with a woman that I want to baby-sit for. Her baby is 2 months old, sounds cute. I don't have a good feeling, or a bad one, but i would love to get the job. If not, well, then it's back to the drawing board. I've let a month go by without making sufficient money, I'm dumb. Just dumb. 30 minutes left to kill.
I'm just watching now. There's a guy walking around asking people for money. Am I a bad person if I don't feel like dealing with it? I suppose, yes, but I wouldn't really be helping him.
Uh oh. I'm starting to feel genuinely nervous. Oh well. Smile.

-LL-

That sumer, after my junior year of college, I continued waitressing at Remingtons on Boylston. I also began nannying for baby Nicholas. He was my summer fling and I still think about that child almost daily. He is almost four years old now, and will never have any memories of me.
Oh, and that fishing trip - I have a journal entry about it!